 Does big feet ACTUALLY mean big meat...?
This has been the age old question since the ‘locker room’ days. But is any of it true? If you have big feet, does that mean you have a big package...? Sure, the theory seems to have some ‘logical’ merit: If you have big feet, that usually means you are tall. If you're tall, that means your legs, arms, and torso are long, too (unless you are a character in a Dr. Suess book). So in a sense, if you’re tall, you are generally ‘longer’ everywhere...right? I’m sure tall people with big feet are content with this rumor. But not one, but many teams of (most likely small-footed) scientists have decided to investigate this claim further throughout the past few decades. Study #1: University of Alberta Back in 1993, two Canadian researchers took measurements from 63 different men. Their height, shoe size, and length of the, um... ‘private area’ was documented. Findings: After washing their hands and wondering if their scientific brains could be put to better use, they came to the conclusion that NO, the size of one’s foot does not correlate with the size of their junk. Guys with small feet celebrated. Study #2: Pusan National University, Korea In 1999, Korean scientists conducted a similar study. Except this time, they measured 655 different male subjects -- 10x the amount of ‘data’ in the Canadian study. Findings: Yet again, small-footed guys of the world had a reason to celebrate: the team found no correlation between foot and stick size. Study #3: University College Hospitals of London University College Hospitals in London measured the feet and private parts of 104 men. It should be noted that they had a wide ‘variety’ of ages, with subjects ranging from their early teens to ‘pensioners’ -- the average age of 54. Findings: Another win for Little Foot! The team for no correlation between penis and shoe size. Though I have to admit, the fact that this organization can’t decide whether they are a college, university, or hospital seems a little sketchy. Study #4: Cachon University Apparently Koreans are really into this topic. Another study conducted in the region uncovered not a correlation between foot and penis size, but between finger and penis size. Researchers at Cachon University measured 144 men over the age of 20 who were undergoing urological surgery. Prior to surgery, they measured each patient’s index and ring fingers. Another lucky doctor then measured each dude’s johnson. Findings: The team discovered that the bigger the difference between a man’s index and ring finger, the bigger his manhood was. Go on, look away from the article for a second to measure your fingers... ... Done now? Great. So it appears the gig is up: foot size doesn't actually matter when it comes to having “penis confidence.” In fact, if anything is worth here at all, it’s the body part opposite of your feet...your fingers. Guys with big feet: I guess you’re going to have to work on being *beautiful on the inside* like the rest of us have been doing for a while now… Guys with small feet: congrats -- the gene pool didn't necessarily screw you over here. Go get ‘em, tiger. Now, I’m sure there’s some weirdo living in his parent’s basement who’s working on creepy x-ray app that will “unlock the secrets of a man’s treasure” with the simple push of a button. But until that’s released, you can relax knowing that your feet are not telling the world your stick size. Nobody knows 100% until you show them the good old fashion way -- just don’t do it in public. |
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